LIFE IS OVERWHEMLING FOR WOMEN IN THEIR 20’S!
So, I posted a little quiz, innocently, about “what Jen wants to be when she grows up”. Kinda funny honestly, because ALL of them were right. Well, maybe except the mini race car driver (I’m already that). I don’t know who voted but it was interesting to see what my readers think I want to do. More people thought I wanted to be a career therapist (really what I meant is career coach). A couple thought a mom. By the way, a vintner is a wine maker (my dad just planted an vineyard so this is also true). But that’s been what’s on my mind lately. The balance women look to find between the MANY things that we feel pulled to be.
When I was in my first counseling class (back in 07) I remember a younger gal saying to me during one of the discussions, how she felt that the demands on young women in our culture (in their 20’s) is SO stressful.
In your 20’s you are expected to graduate from college and decide “what you want to do with your life”, get a good job, work hard and work your way up so you aren’t making peanuts as an entry level female (average $30K), then while you’re doing all the WORK things you must find a man. (As some of us know, this is not a small task), especially as Christian women. Because there is the expectation that we will find some “wonderful” Godly man who will lead our home and be committed to us FOREVER. (so we pray for one to show up) Meanwhile, we are participating in church to get exposure to good guys (but they are often to shy to pursue us). We date online, go to parties, and try to host parties to attract outgoing men. Once we find the ONE, we marry and then will struggled to find a common ground in our marriages between, life, love, passion, sex, house work, oh and our JOB that we are still trying to achieve at. Obviously, some of us drop the work notion and start having kids, others continue working, some also do both. I think I also forgotten to mention that we still want to have friends and good relationships with our families; we are buying houses, establishing our finances. Then there's working out and relationship with God! Ahh...
LIFE IS OVERWHEMLING FOR WOMEN IN THEIR 20’S!
Have I said too much? (I laugh :) It might sound like I am overwhelmed with this. I am NOT. I am actually just repeating much of what that 20 something years old girl said in my class. But it has to do with what I am thinking about lately. LIFE is different for all of us. 6 of my closest blogging friends are pregnant right now. It really cool. I am thinking about babies. My close friend just had her 1st. I am in love. My husband is spending $20K this year on his dream. I am excited. I obviously am career driven. But I gave up on school last year because I could not justify a Masters at this point in my life. My job is contract. I struggle with my career (I won’t go into this now for the sake of word count).
A couple of points that I’ve come to.
1) Experience Rules. What do I mean? Well, the experience we get in our 20’s is SO valuable. We should share it. If there are moms who are rockstar moms, they have valuable info to share. Those who are traveling the world have incredible exciting and valuable advice and stories to share. Those who are brazening the career world have advice worth sharing, and they should.
2) There is Power in Community.That’s a main reason why I love blogging, my personal life and thoughts. I feel that I’ve shared. I feel that I’ve been heard. I grow. As I writer, a person and a blogging friend. We need more sharing of hearts, minds, thoughts and feelings.
3) Everyone's Valuable. Me, you and the sister out there who is dealing with something totally different. We can encourage, even when we are not in the same situation. COMMENTS (known as Thoughts on my blog) are HUGE. Leave them, share yourself.
4) There is value in transparency. Life for Christians is not a competition. I’ve found some beautiful posts on some NEW blogs I’ve been reading. I don’t know these people, personally, but I am learning from their authenticity. The brilliant thing is that few of them are actually born again. But, life has brought challenges their way that they are willing to share. When they do, all who read are blessed.
Be challenged. Be blessed.
And stop looking for typos in my posts.
(big smile)
4 years ago
5 comments:
Jen,
you read my mind... with the typos (sighs) well that's what you get with an English major sister. It's really fun to hear what you're thinkin' about lately, more than just the "what's up" but also the inner Jen. I hear you. There are quite a few, more than that, try a BUNCH of life expectations that are I supposed to come to fruition before we ladies turn 30, but what I've come to realize is (as corny as it sounds) Life is a journey, not a destination. You will never "arrive" at what you are, you are constantly becoming who you are. Anyway, good times!
Megs
Wow Jen. That 20 something gal that you quoted in your post is so right. I feel like no matter what we are doing, there are always going to be those tugs from other directions, and there is something to be said for finding contentment with where God has placed you for the moment instead of getting overwhelmed by all of the things that we "should", and "could" be doing as women. Thanks for sharing your heart. Love ya.
Hey Jen,
That is so awesome you have the "Jesus love!" I wondered that day about 2 years ago when you interviewed me at Aquent...there was just a twinkle in your eyes that doesn't come from anywhere else. I now feel compelled to tell you God so used you in my life...I'm not even sure where to begin. Thank you for all of your encouragement, advocating for me, making things happen...I'm sure more went on behind the scenes that I'm not even aware of. Thank you.
It's true, our work is our ministry.
In Him,
Jen
Hi Jen, Aunt Katie here, just catching up on a little reading in the blogossphere...It is probably hard to think about just living in the moment, because the culture we live in doesn't get that idea, yet. However, as one ages, (and I am now 61)we learn a few things about reality and "what is really important." I would offer you the thought of learning to live in the moment as my word of wisdom to help you with feelings of overwhelm. This is what elders are for, to slow your pace,(if you would walk a while with us) and to offer what we have learned. Living in the moment means that I focus on what is in front of me right now and do that as elegantly and awesomely as I am able, while at the same time feeling the gratitude and honor it is to be in this moment. I was 18 years old when I became a nun, offering my life to God, forever, and the women who surrounded me then, as now were and are of all ages. They taught me this one simple truth: to live in the moment and to attend to it's unfolding. There, I would discover what God's will was for me in each moment. Using other's expectations as a measuring stick would be to lose focus. This is not such a hard thing to do (living in the moment), but it does require radical commitment. It is a counter-cultural idea, Jesus knew well. But, to be able to do this does bring such great peace. And, many blessings,...for what it's worth....hugs!
Great thoughts here Jen. I am really trying to slow down and enjoy this whirlwind time in my life. I am positive that things wont neccessarily slow down in the next decade, but I dont want these precious years of growth to be a blur in my memory. I want to embrace this time with others and learn from different friends. It seems like older folks are always commenting on how we should "do that while we are young" and I have to think they are on to something, they must remember being capable at our age and that they could balance more. You are doing a great job balancing all of the crazy happenings in your life, and I hope you are enjoying them as well!! Love ya!
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